Sunday, January 27, 2013

Back to my Carrie moment....

so, you know how carrie is always typing something deep and meaningful on her mac during episodes of sex and the city? that's been me for the past couple of days...except not nearly as funny or witty. let's be honest- i always wanted to be carrie...but i'm actually charlotte. i digress....

so. you can read the first part of my carrie moment here.

disclaimer: i in NO way have all of this "making yourself a priority" mess figured out. i'm not professionally trained but the following is what i do know. 

so, lets go back about a year. my daughter was born. i spent 3 months at home taking care of her. my body was a mess. my hormones were a mess. i didn't have time for a dentist appointment or a shower. In those early days, i made the goal for myself this: SHOWER EVERY DAY. pathetic, huh? it's was 10 minutes of me time per day. sometimes it happened at the end of a long day but i made sure it happened. it gave me a little time to clear my head and well, clean myself. lol. 

a few weeks went by and i felt like i needed something more. i needed to leave the house.

i found a gym membership special: $100 for 3 months. bam. SOLD. i joined the gym. I'll be honest. at first, it was hard to commit to going. i felt guilty about leaving the baby. i was tired at the end of the day. i had to make dinner. i was missing out on family time. the baby neeeeedddssss me. all of that was true. and still is true but that was my first step at making myself a priority. first step at taking care of myself so i could take better care of my family. 

good start, right?

fast forward to friday. i still go to the gym 4-5 times a week. i haven't been to the dentist in months. i've been to the hairdresser one time in the past year. can't tell you the last time that i look a day to myself or spent money on myself. don't have any clothes that fit cause i don't go shopping. and now i'm in.a.rut.

i'd venture to say that going to the gym is what keeps my stress level down (read: prevents me from burying my hubby in the backyard...just kidding. kinda) but i still need to make me time. my husband has no problem taking days for fishing, hunting, football, laying on the couch, etc. it this particular instance, i wish i had more of a man brain. he doesn't think twice about going and doing things for himself. heh. 

i had a breakdown expressed my need for time away..and he gave me yesterday, Saturday, as my day. 

me?! a day?! i get a whole day?! 

i took yesterday for myself. i went to the gym in the morning. after my shower, the baby was napping. i quickly ran out of the house. i knew if she was up it would be 1,000 times harder for me to leave. i won't i was driving down the road, i was seriously thinking about going back home. for about 10 miles. i figured there was only one solution: turn up the music so damn loud that i drown out my inner thoughts. and drive. and that's exactly what i did.

i didn't even know where i was going. but i was going. me. alone. doing whatever i wanted. on my schedule. 

i know that you're all dying to know what i did....


I honestly had the best day. going at my own pace. no sippy cups and snacks in my purse. no husband following me around the stores like a lost puppy. 

i missed my daughter all day. i bought her things everywhere i went. but i needed yesterday for me. 

here's my advice: if you're in a rut, like me, take time for yourself. take a bath, read a book, shop til you drop, go to a spinning class. whatever you need to do to make yourself a better person, mommy, friend..whatever. trust me, i know how crazy schedules get...but fit it in where you can. 

someone please keep reminding me of this so i don't go another year without a "me day" :0)

on the agenda for tomorrow's post: my shopping loot & workout plan for February!

what do you guys do for you? to keep sane? 

1 comment:

  1. I puts a huge smile on my face to read this. I'm glad you're taking time for yourself. All too often I feel like people get consumed by their role (wife/mother/etc) and lose themselves.

    You're amazing, inspiring and you look great. xoxo